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From: CoG
Date: 15 Oct 1999
Time: 11:21:05
Remote Name: 204.160.183.12
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN (HONEST AND NO KIDDING): > A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep. > If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. > A 3 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant > If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room. > You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. > The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. > When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already too late. > Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. > A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day. > Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old. > Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence. > Super glue is forever. > No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jell-O. > VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. > Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. > Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. > You probably do not want to know what that odor is. > Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time. > The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy --------------------